1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
2. Why is it that no matter what color of the bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
3. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
4. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum cleaner one more chance?
5. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you try first?
6. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
7. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
8. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
9. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
10. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?
You'll shoot your eye out.
[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v635/elp6n/santa.jpg[/img]
4. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum cleaner one more chance?
Hahaha....The vacuum should do it's job! I'm pretty sure I've done that before.
Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting.
George Orwell
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6. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
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A mystery I'll never figure out!
If my head wasn't hurting already....thanks
What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach, so you get what we had here last week which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it.
-You have to expect things of yourself before You can do them- Michael Jordan
Well, if its like at my house, some people try dress like its summer in the middle of winter. Its cold outside. Put on some shoes with socks, a long sleeve shirt/top and some long pants. Not cut-offs & a tank-top and then complain about how cold it is. Well, DUH!!!!
......and I thought truth was universal. Silly me......
-You have to expect things of yourself before You can do them- Michael Jordan
True. But, my point is if you are cold natured then why not put some clothes on instead of just cranking the thermostat wide open. I have no problem in trying to be comfortable, but people should try to use some common sense once in a while.
......and I thought truth was universal. Silly me......
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary,how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where
did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really
is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean
opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can
you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a
remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle ?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
Life is a grindstone . Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up , depends on what we are made of .
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3. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
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I am SO guilty of this!
"All the brains of France can be found in a 5 gallon bucket."
-Unknown-
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